Apologies, AGAIN, for the time it's taken me to post! Things have been so hectic, and I honestly lost track of time. How awful - the last time I wrote a post was this time last year.
Okay, so my life has changed quite a bit between now and then! I've got a new job, turned 22, got myself a boyfriend, and went into my third year at university. That all happening within the space of a year is quite a lot to take in. I stayed in Southampton over summer rather than returning home, and managed to work full time.
Things this term have been pretty stressful, deadlines that came around far too quickly, and now I've got the added stress of my dissertation. Working a lot over the weekend isn't a help, but bills need to be paid somehow!
So, I've decided to start a new blog. I've always really been into make up, and I think I'll actually regularly update a make up one (so I say!), so that's my New Years resolution! I got loads for Christmas and have been investing in a lot lately, so have a few posts lined up already. Fingers crossed I actually manage to motivate myself and find time to do it! I love doing these blog posts, but this blog doesn't actually have a theme or anything, and I find it hard to find things to write about without sounding like I'm constantly criticising something.
Christmas and New Years has been amazing having two weeks off of work, however quite hectic! Alex's mum is from Liverpool, so we spent Christmas there, then came back to Essex to see my family and his dad over the New Years. Off back to Southampton and reality tomorrow. How were your Christmas' and New Years?
When the new blog is up and running, I'll post a link on here, in case anybody wants a read!
Tuesday 3 January 2017
Friday 22 January 2016
Mental Illnesses Are Not Fashionable
Something I am struggling to comprehend lately is how glamorised mental illnesses appear to have become. I just can't quite get my head around the fact it seems to be the new 'in thing'.
Now, I'm not going to sit here and say that I have one, or know the torture and pain those that do have one go through on a day-to-day basis. However, I do suffer from anxiety and am fully aware of how horrible that can be. Anxiety can be a very controlling thing, and at times I feel like I'm going crazy, or just merely driving myself insane. I try not to make it common knowledge, as it's my own personal issue, and I'm a very private person. I don't tend to talk about my feelings or how things affect me. I have my own way of dealing with my issues; some may dispute that this is 'not healthy' or 'doesn't help anything to keep everything bottled inside', but that's my way of dealing with things, and it works for me. I don't want people's pity, and hate the idea of people talking about me.
It just seems to me that over the past year, more and more people have developed mental illnesses of some kind. I am not for one second arguing this, however, I just don't understand how people make it so public. The last thing I, and others that I know that suffer with a mental illness, want is for people to know. I just don't understand how plastering it all over social media, constantly highlighting the fact that you suffer from one helps anything. It leads onto questions, and people you barely know experience what it is you're going through. I understand that having support is such a contributing factor in overcoming it, but surely not this way? Your short term, temporary feeling does not mean you have a serious issue. There's a difference between having a bad patch in life for a couple of months, and having a mental illness.
Yes, I understand this is some people's way of dealing with it, however, it appears to be more and more glamorised. Mental illnesses are NOT a fashion statement. It completely has the ability to change people's lives. It just seems to me that more and more people do not understand the severity of these illnesses, and are very quick to give themselves a self-diagnosis.
Similarly, I cannot comprehend that mental illnesses are still not taken as seriously as physical illnesses. Just because you cannot see it, does not make it any less serious. The way the mind works is a torturous thing, and thoughts in your head cannot be simply blocked out. Your thoughts have no pity for you, grasping to what seems to you like your last string of insanity; they are constantly there, screaming out for you to listen and acknowledge them. During the day it is so easy to block it all out, to just simply ignore them. Yet, as night creeps up, the thoughts somewhat get louder and your mind goes into overdrive. Then all you can do is lay there, revelling in the thoughts filling your head, ecstatic that they're being listened to.
It is not as easy to just 'forget about it' or 'cheer up'. If it were that easy the problem would have been resolved a hell of a long time ago. That is the issue with society; it cannot be seen therefore it is easily fixable. WRONG. I honestly wish, for SO many people's sakes, that it were that easy. It's not easy to get through it, and that's okay. You are no less of a person for not being able to get out of bed today.
Stop labelling sadness as depression, moodiness as some form of bipolar disorder, nervous behaviour as anxiety and a couple of sleepless nights as insomnia. Society as a whole needs more recognition of mental illnesses, their side affects, and more awareness of what they truly are. That is the only way to overcome these illnesses.
Now, I'm not going to sit here and say that I have one, or know the torture and pain those that do have one go through on a day-to-day basis. However, I do suffer from anxiety and am fully aware of how horrible that can be. Anxiety can be a very controlling thing, and at times I feel like I'm going crazy, or just merely driving myself insane. I try not to make it common knowledge, as it's my own personal issue, and I'm a very private person. I don't tend to talk about my feelings or how things affect me. I have my own way of dealing with my issues; some may dispute that this is 'not healthy' or 'doesn't help anything to keep everything bottled inside', but that's my way of dealing with things, and it works for me. I don't want people's pity, and hate the idea of people talking about me.
It just seems to me that over the past year, more and more people have developed mental illnesses of some kind. I am not for one second arguing this, however, I just don't understand how people make it so public. The last thing I, and others that I know that suffer with a mental illness, want is for people to know. I just don't understand how plastering it all over social media, constantly highlighting the fact that you suffer from one helps anything. It leads onto questions, and people you barely know experience what it is you're going through. I understand that having support is such a contributing factor in overcoming it, but surely not this way? Your short term, temporary feeling does not mean you have a serious issue. There's a difference between having a bad patch in life for a couple of months, and having a mental illness.
Yes, I understand this is some people's way of dealing with it, however, it appears to be more and more glamorised. Mental illnesses are NOT a fashion statement. It completely has the ability to change people's lives. It just seems to me that more and more people do not understand the severity of these illnesses, and are very quick to give themselves a self-diagnosis.
Similarly, I cannot comprehend that mental illnesses are still not taken as seriously as physical illnesses. Just because you cannot see it, does not make it any less serious. The way the mind works is a torturous thing, and thoughts in your head cannot be simply blocked out. Your thoughts have no pity for you, grasping to what seems to you like your last string of insanity; they are constantly there, screaming out for you to listen and acknowledge them. During the day it is so easy to block it all out, to just simply ignore them. Yet, as night creeps up, the thoughts somewhat get louder and your mind goes into overdrive. Then all you can do is lay there, revelling in the thoughts filling your head, ecstatic that they're being listened to.
It is not as easy to just 'forget about it' or 'cheer up'. If it were that easy the problem would have been resolved a hell of a long time ago. That is the issue with society; it cannot be seen therefore it is easily fixable. WRONG. I honestly wish, for SO many people's sakes, that it were that easy. It's not easy to get through it, and that's okay. You are no less of a person for not being able to get out of bed today.
Stop labelling sadness as depression, moodiness as some form of bipolar disorder, nervous behaviour as anxiety and a couple of sleepless nights as insomnia. Society as a whole needs more recognition of mental illnesses, their side affects, and more awareness of what they truly are. That is the only way to overcome these illnesses.
Wednesday 18 November 2015
Up and Running
So, I'm already two months into my second year at university. It's been a pretty crazy two months, and things are pretty hectic at the moment. I'm in uni five days a week, and I'm working on top of that. So far, so good though.
I've managed to bag myself another week of work experience in January at Stylist magazine. Safe to say I can't wait for that! It's crazy to think I'll be back in Essex in a months time, home for Christmas. Time just seems to be moving so fast, and it's pretty hard to keep up with it to be perfectly honest.
I've also found a new flat for next year, which I'm putting a deposit down on tomorrow. It'll be good to downsize a bit, and live with new people. As much as I love my house at the moment, I can't wait to move. Plus there's a communal gym in the building, which saves me having to make the decision to join one or not!
Something this past year has shown me though, is who your true friends really are. It's funny how people you considered good friends don't have a word to say as soon as you move away. A text every now and again wouldn't hurt, but hey, what can you do. I guess at the end of the day you're on your own, so may as well get used to it as soon as possible. That's easier said than done though when people from the past crop up, when really you'd wished they stayed just that.
When you're lonely and people try and get back in contact, it does mess with your head a bit. There are so many unanswered questions, that I merely don't have the time or energy to ask. Part of me doesn't really want to find out the answers, so there's no point in getting hurt in the process and dragging up old feelings. I guess I've realised its okay to outgrow people, and realise that you don't need them in your life. The friendship will never go back to what it was, and that's alright.
I definitely need to get my head down a bit though, and focus on the reason I've come to university in the first place. It's certainly time to start being a bit smarter with my money and studies, and stop going out so much. Don't get me wrong, I've had some amazing nights out these past two months, but they don't all end as well as they started, and it's time to slow it down a bit.
I recently turned 21, and had the most amazing day. All my family came down from Essex to see me, and we went out to lunch. It was so lovely to see them, and I can't thank them enough for it. A big night out with friends followed. I received so many lovely presents and cards too, which obviously just made the day better.
Just thought I'd do a little update, and have bit of a rant, as its 2am and I can't sleep. I also promised myself I'd do more updates on my blog, and stop neglecting it so much.
I've managed to bag myself another week of work experience in January at Stylist magazine. Safe to say I can't wait for that! It's crazy to think I'll be back in Essex in a months time, home for Christmas. Time just seems to be moving so fast, and it's pretty hard to keep up with it to be perfectly honest.
I've also found a new flat for next year, which I'm putting a deposit down on tomorrow. It'll be good to downsize a bit, and live with new people. As much as I love my house at the moment, I can't wait to move. Plus there's a communal gym in the building, which saves me having to make the decision to join one or not!
Something this past year has shown me though, is who your true friends really are. It's funny how people you considered good friends don't have a word to say as soon as you move away. A text every now and again wouldn't hurt, but hey, what can you do. I guess at the end of the day you're on your own, so may as well get used to it as soon as possible. That's easier said than done though when people from the past crop up, when really you'd wished they stayed just that.
When you're lonely and people try and get back in contact, it does mess with your head a bit. There are so many unanswered questions, that I merely don't have the time or energy to ask. Part of me doesn't really want to find out the answers, so there's no point in getting hurt in the process and dragging up old feelings. I guess I've realised its okay to outgrow people, and realise that you don't need them in your life. The friendship will never go back to what it was, and that's alright.
I definitely need to get my head down a bit though, and focus on the reason I've come to university in the first place. It's certainly time to start being a bit smarter with my money and studies, and stop going out so much. Don't get me wrong, I've had some amazing nights out these past two months, but they don't all end as well as they started, and it's time to slow it down a bit.
I recently turned 21, and had the most amazing day. All my family came down from Essex to see me, and we went out to lunch. It was so lovely to see them, and I can't thank them enough for it. A big night out with friends followed. I received so many lovely presents and cards too, which obviously just made the day better.
Just thought I'd do a little update, and have bit of a rant, as its 2am and I can't sleep. I also promised myself I'd do more updates on my blog, and stop neglecting it so much.
Sunday 15 November 2015
Friday the 13th: Unlucky For Many.
My heart is heavy, and it aches because of the events that have happened over the past two days. It's safe to say that this Friday the 13th was certainly an unlucky one.
Its so heartbreaking that Paris and Lebanon were both targeted by IS terrorists, that sadly succeeded and destroyed so many lives within moments. All of those innocent people going about their daily lives, with so much potential and so many years to live, cut short because of terrorists trying to make some sort of a sadistic point.
All of those people never did get to go home and climb into their beds that evening, or tell their loved ones how much they cherished them. It's mindblowing how life can be cut short so quickly, with no inclination that it's about to happen. Those people had no idea what the terrorists had planned. Their fate was decided by the wrong people and they were merely in the wrong place at the wrong time.
What infuriates me is the sheer ignorance of people on social media at times like this. People are trying unite and come together as one, yet you get there sheer stupidity of people blaming things like this on Muslims. ALL MUSLIMS ARE NOT TERRORISTS. Terrorists have no religion, hence why they are referred to as terrorists! Why are people unable to grasp that concept? I saw something on Twitter that said "ISIS are to Islam what the KKK is to Christianity", and I could not think of a better way of saying it myself. I read about a Muslim taxi driver in Paris that had turned his meter off on Friday night, pleading to help people, but nobody would get in his taxi as he was a Muslim. His heart was broken, and he was trying to help get people to safety and reunite them with their loved ones, but because of people's ignorance they would not let him do that. When someone finally got in his cab, they wrote about their experience, and explained how he cried the whole journey saying it was not his fault, that these people did not represent his religion. How truly heartbreaking; a man trying all he can to help others rather than be with his own family in a time like that, yet people dismissed him purely because of his religion.
Reading Facebook statuses saying that the UK borders should have been shut years ago, and to stop letting refugees and Muslims in the country is just an example of my last point. I'm sorry, but I just cannot comprehend the logic of these comments. I honestly try and see things from others point of view, but this is ludicrous. Everyone has the right to believe in any religion they want, and should not be shunned because of it. Is it not clear that these extremists are the people the refugees are running from? Why do you think they have crossed water on dingy boats, putting their lives and their childrens lives in danger? So, instead of letting them into the country, send them back to theirs so they can deal with the pain and heartache Paris and Lebanon are dealing with after one night, yet they must deal with it on a daily basis?
Those that post "How will changing your Facebook picture to the French flag help?" etc, are missing the point. Clearly it is not going to help, but it may show those in Paris that see it that they are supported. Some people may have lost loved ones, or experienced traumatic things that evening, and it will provide comfort knowing that they are supported. I think everyone is well aware that IS will not look at Facebook, see the profile pictures, and think 'Oh shit, everyone supports Paris, lets stop'. Its merely to show the support people offer at this hard time. Don't sit there trying to have a 'different' opinion stating how ridiculous it is, and why you're not changing your picture. We do not care, you just look like a complete arsehole that misses the point entirely.
What has happened to compassion and humanity? In times like this, surely the world should unite against these extremists and come together, not pass the blame and 'get people out'. We must stand up against these terrorists. If the world unites, they will eventually be defeated.
I fear that this is not the end, this is just the beginning. IS appear to have become smarter, and stronger, and this will not silence them. They have released a statement taking responsibility for the attacks, and appear to be somewhat proud of themselves.
For the first time since 1889, the Eiffel Tower turned its lights off to mourn those that died in the horrific events of Friday evening. The city of light was darkened, yet the rest of the world lit up for them, showing their support, and emphasising that these extremists will not win. Landmarks around the world displayed the French flag to show Paris that they are supported and will overcome this heartbreak.
Its so heartbreaking that Paris and Lebanon were both targeted by IS terrorists, that sadly succeeded and destroyed so many lives within moments. All of those innocent people going about their daily lives, with so much potential and so many years to live, cut short because of terrorists trying to make some sort of a sadistic point.
All of those people never did get to go home and climb into their beds that evening, or tell their loved ones how much they cherished them. It's mindblowing how life can be cut short so quickly, with no inclination that it's about to happen. Those people had no idea what the terrorists had planned. Their fate was decided by the wrong people and they were merely in the wrong place at the wrong time.
What infuriates me is the sheer ignorance of people on social media at times like this. People are trying unite and come together as one, yet you get there sheer stupidity of people blaming things like this on Muslims. ALL MUSLIMS ARE NOT TERRORISTS. Terrorists have no religion, hence why they are referred to as terrorists! Why are people unable to grasp that concept? I saw something on Twitter that said "ISIS are to Islam what the KKK is to Christianity", and I could not think of a better way of saying it myself. I read about a Muslim taxi driver in Paris that had turned his meter off on Friday night, pleading to help people, but nobody would get in his taxi as he was a Muslim. His heart was broken, and he was trying to help get people to safety and reunite them with their loved ones, but because of people's ignorance they would not let him do that. When someone finally got in his cab, they wrote about their experience, and explained how he cried the whole journey saying it was not his fault, that these people did not represent his religion. How truly heartbreaking; a man trying all he can to help others rather than be with his own family in a time like that, yet people dismissed him purely because of his religion.
Reading Facebook statuses saying that the UK borders should have been shut years ago, and to stop letting refugees and Muslims in the country is just an example of my last point. I'm sorry, but I just cannot comprehend the logic of these comments. I honestly try and see things from others point of view, but this is ludicrous. Everyone has the right to believe in any religion they want, and should not be shunned because of it. Is it not clear that these extremists are the people the refugees are running from? Why do you think they have crossed water on dingy boats, putting their lives and their childrens lives in danger? So, instead of letting them into the country, send them back to theirs so they can deal with the pain and heartache Paris and Lebanon are dealing with after one night, yet they must deal with it on a daily basis?
Those that post "How will changing your Facebook picture to the French flag help?" etc, are missing the point. Clearly it is not going to help, but it may show those in Paris that see it that they are supported. Some people may have lost loved ones, or experienced traumatic things that evening, and it will provide comfort knowing that they are supported. I think everyone is well aware that IS will not look at Facebook, see the profile pictures, and think 'Oh shit, everyone supports Paris, lets stop'. Its merely to show the support people offer at this hard time. Don't sit there trying to have a 'different' opinion stating how ridiculous it is, and why you're not changing your picture. We do not care, you just look like a complete arsehole that misses the point entirely.
What has happened to compassion and humanity? In times like this, surely the world should unite against these extremists and come together, not pass the blame and 'get people out'. We must stand up against these terrorists. If the world unites, they will eventually be defeated.
I fear that this is not the end, this is just the beginning. IS appear to have become smarter, and stronger, and this will not silence them. They have released a statement taking responsibility for the attacks, and appear to be somewhat proud of themselves.
For the first time since 1889, the Eiffel Tower turned its lights off to mourn those that died in the horrific events of Friday evening. The city of light was darkened, yet the rest of the world lit up for them, showing their support, and emphasising that these extremists will not win. Landmarks around the world displayed the French flag to show Paris that they are supported and will overcome this heartbreak.
Monday 26 October 2015
YOU Magazine Work Experience
From the 1st-5th June, I had the incredible opportunity to do some work experience at YOU magazine. Even though I was excited for it, I was still quite sceptical. It was a make or break for me, if you like. I've wanted to go into fashion since I was around 15/16, I just had no idea how or what aspect of it. When I got the opportunity to do this, I would finally decide if this is what I wanted to do with my life, or I'd see I was wrong and that it wasn't actually for me.
I was expecting something like the Devil Wears Prada, I'm not going to lie. However, it was far from it. Everyone in the office was so welcoming and lovely, and I genuinely felt like I was in my element.
During my week at YOU, I worked on five different desks: features, art, fashion, pictures and sub editors. Working on all the different desks gave me a real insight into how much research and work goes into putting the magazine together, and how all the desks are relevant for the final product.
I was told what each desk contributed to the magazine, and was allowed to help within the current tasks. When I worked on the fashion desk, I got to help with a fashion shoot, which resulted in my name being in the credits on the page!
I just feel work experience is so useful, as it allows you to experience first hand what it is like working in the industry, and it can give you a clearer mindset as to whether that really is the career path you want to pursue. Luckily for me, I was working with an office full of lovely, welcoming people at an extremely organised company.
Caitlin even came to visit one day, and came for lunch with her mum and I. That just made the whole week better, being able to see her and have a catch up on my lunch break.
This experience was so useful to me. I felt so in my element, and it really allowed me to gain a clearer understanding of the goals I am aiming for. I was slightly doubtful coming to university, wondering if I'd made the right choice. However, after my work experience, I am more determined than ever to reach my final goal. It has also showed me how much I'd love to live in London, and don't intend to move back to Essex. London is such an incredible city, and working there for that week really emphasised that to me.
Wednesday 20 May 2015
Away With The Fairies
Sorry it's been so long since my last post - things have been a bit hectic! Life has literally consisted of university work and work work. I've not even been home a day, and I'm already back behind the bar!
Anyway, my first year of university is finally over! Last deadline has been submitted and my final exam has been sat. What an incredible year it's been. I've met some amazing friends, and made some unforgettable memories. It's been a roller-coaster of emotions, as its hard adjusting to moving away from home, and everything you know to a completely new place, literally on your own. Yes, certain times have been hard and lonely, but overall, its been an incredible experience. If somebody told me this time last year I'd be at university now, I wouldn't have believed them. It's really quite exhausting keeping up with how much life seems to be changing lately.
Anyway, summer is finally here - thank god! I'll hopefully be going on a couple of holidays that I've got lined up, as well as working full time. I'm not really sure how I'm going to fit in all the things I appear to have planned, but I'm sure I'll manage it somehow.
I've also got some exciting news. A good friend of mine that I met at university has given me the amazing opportunity to gain some work experience with her mum at YOU magazine. I'll be doing five days there at the beginning of June. Her mum is a Sub Editor, literally the job I want! So I am extremely happy to have this incredible opportunity, especially in my first year! To say I'm excited for the week is an understatement.
Thought I'd add a few photos of my first year at university. This is just an update considering I'm back in Essex now, and feel I've slightly neglected my blog. I'll try and keep it regularly updated, promise!
Anyway, my first year of university is finally over! Last deadline has been submitted and my final exam has been sat. What an incredible year it's been. I've met some amazing friends, and made some unforgettable memories. It's been a roller-coaster of emotions, as its hard adjusting to moving away from home, and everything you know to a completely new place, literally on your own. Yes, certain times have been hard and lonely, but overall, its been an incredible experience. If somebody told me this time last year I'd be at university now, I wouldn't have believed them. It's really quite exhausting keeping up with how much life seems to be changing lately.
Anyway, summer is finally here - thank god! I'll hopefully be going on a couple of holidays that I've got lined up, as well as working full time. I'm not really sure how I'm going to fit in all the things I appear to have planned, but I'm sure I'll manage it somehow.
I've also got some exciting news. A good friend of mine that I met at university has given me the amazing opportunity to gain some work experience with her mum at YOU magazine. I'll be doing five days there at the beginning of June. Her mum is a Sub Editor, literally the job I want! So I am extremely happy to have this incredible opportunity, especially in my first year! To say I'm excited for the week is an understatement.
Thought I'd add a few photos of my first year at university. This is just an update considering I'm back in Essex now, and feel I've slightly neglected my blog. I'll try and keep it regularly updated, promise!
Monday 23 March 2015
Paris Fashion Week: Valentino featuring Zoolander
Admittedly, it's been a while since my last post. However, uni is uni and things have been a bit hectic lately. I've been meaning to post for a while now, but just have not had the time at all.
Something I need to post about is the Fashion Week finale. Obviously, Paris Fashion Week did not disappoint.
The Valentino show closed the evening, a show in which all I can say I wish I'd had the opportunity to attend. The AW15 collection started off minimalistic, with a classic monochrome piece, and little make up on the models. It then progressed to more colourful, textured pieces; leading up to the spectacular finish.
Two unexpected guests then took to the runway; Ben Stiller as Hansel and Owen Wilson as Derek Zoolander. The pair were wearing custom made Valentino two-pieces, with matching coats.
Something I need to post about is the Fashion Week finale. Obviously, Paris Fashion Week did not disappoint.
The Valentino show closed the evening, a show in which all I can say I wish I'd had the opportunity to attend. The AW15 collection started off minimalistic, with a classic monochrome piece, and little make up on the models. It then progressed to more colourful, textured pieces; leading up to the spectacular finish.
Two unexpected guests then took to the runway; Ben Stiller as Hansel and Owen Wilson as Derek Zoolander. The pair were wearing custom made Valentino two-pieces, with matching coats.
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