Up and Running

So, I'm already two months into my second year at university. It's been a pretty crazy two months, and things are pretty hectic at the moment. I'm in uni five days a week, and I'm working on top of that. So far, so good though.

I've managed to bag myself another week of work experience in January at Stylist magazine. Safe to say I can't wait for that! It's crazy to think I'll be back in Essex in a months time, home for Christmas. Time just seems to be moving so fast, and it's pretty hard to keep up with it to be perfectly honest.

I've also found a new flat for next year, which I'm putting a deposit down on tomorrow. It'll be good to downsize a bit, and live with new people. As much as I love my house at the moment, I can't wait to move. Plus there's a communal gym in the building, which saves me having to make the decision to join one or not!

Something this past year has shown me though, is who your true friends really are. It's funny how people you considered good friends don't have a word to say as soon as you move away. A text every now and again wouldn't hurt, but hey, what can you do. I guess at the end of the day you're on your own, so may as well get used to it as soon as possible. That's easier said than done though when people from the past crop up, when really you'd wished they stayed just that.

When you're lonely and people try and get back in contact, it does mess with your head a bit. There are so many unanswered questions, that I merely don't have the time or energy to ask. Part of me doesn't really want to find out the answers, so there's no point in getting hurt in the process and dragging up old feelings. I guess I've realised its okay to outgrow people, and realise that you don't need them in your life. The friendship will never go back to what it was, and that's alright.

I definitely need to get my head down a bit though, and focus on the reason I've come to university in the first place. It's certainly time to start being a bit smarter with my money and studies, and stop going out so much. Don't get me wrong, I've had some amazing nights out these past two months, but they don't all end as well as they started, and it's time to slow it down a bit.

I recently turned 21, and had the most amazing day. All my family came down from Essex to see me, and we went out to lunch. It was so lovely to see them, and I can't thank them enough for it. A big night out with friends followed. I received so many lovely presents and cards too, which obviously just made the day better.

Just thought I'd do a little update, and have bit of a rant, as its 2am and I can't sleep. I also promised myself I'd do more updates on my blog, and stop neglecting it so much.

Friday the 13th: Unlucky For Many.

My heart is heavy, and it aches because of the events that have happened over the past two days. It's safe to say that this Friday the 13th was certainly an unlucky one.

Its so heartbreaking that Paris and Lebanon were both targeted by IS terrorists, that sadly succeeded and destroyed so many lives within moments. All of those innocent people going about their daily lives, with so much potential and so many years to live, cut short because of terrorists trying to make some sort of a sadistic point.

All of those people never did get to go home and climb into their beds that evening, or tell their loved ones how much they cherished them. It's mindblowing how life can be cut short so quickly, with no inclination that it's about to happen. Those people had no idea what the terrorists had planned. Their fate was decided by the wrong people and they were merely in the wrong place at the wrong time.

What infuriates me is the sheer ignorance of people on social media at times like this. People are trying unite and come together as one, yet you get there sheer stupidity of people blaming things like this on Muslims. ALL MUSLIMS ARE NOT TERRORISTS. Terrorists have no religion, hence why they are referred to as terrorists! Why are people unable to grasp that concept? I saw something on Twitter that said "ISIS are to Islam what the KKK is to Christianity", and I could not think of a better way of saying it myself. I read about a Muslim taxi driver in Paris that had turned his meter off on Friday night, pleading to help people, but nobody would get in his taxi as he was a Muslim. His heart was broken, and he was trying to help get people to safety and reunite them with their loved ones, but because of people's ignorance they would not let him do that. When someone finally got in his cab, they wrote about their experience, and explained how he cried the whole journey saying it was not his fault, that these people did not represent his religion. How truly heartbreaking; a man trying all he can to help others rather than be with his own family in a time like that, yet people dismissed him purely because of his religion.

Reading Facebook statuses saying that the UK borders should have been shut years ago, and to stop letting refugees and Muslims in the country is just an example of my last point. I'm sorry, but I just cannot comprehend the logic of these comments. I honestly try and see things from others point of view, but this is ludicrous. Everyone has the right to believe in any religion they want, and should not be shunned because of it. Is it not clear that these extremists are the people the refugees are running from? Why do you think they have crossed water on dingy boats, putting their lives and their childrens lives in danger? So, instead of letting them into the country, send them back to theirs so they can deal with the pain and heartache Paris and Lebanon are dealing with after one night, yet they must deal with it on a daily basis?

Those that post "How will changing your Facebook picture to the French flag help?" etc, are missing the point. Clearly it is not going to help, but it may show those in Paris that see it that they are supported. Some people may have lost loved ones, or experienced traumatic things that evening, and it will provide comfort knowing that they are supported. I think everyone is well aware that IS will not look at Facebook, see the profile pictures, and think 'Oh shit, everyone supports Paris, lets stop'. Its merely to show the support people offer at this hard time. Don't sit there trying to have a 'different' opinion stating how ridiculous it is, and why you're not changing your picture. We do not care, you just look like a complete arsehole that misses the point entirely.

What has happened to compassion and humanity? In times like this, surely the world should unite against these extremists and come together, not pass the blame and 'get people out'. We must stand up against these terrorists. If the world unites, they will eventually be defeated.

I fear that this is not the end, this is just the beginning. IS appear to have become smarter, and stronger, and this will not silence them. They have released a statement taking responsibility for the attacks, and appear to be somewhat proud of themselves.

For the first time since 1889, the Eiffel Tower turned its lights off to mourn those that died in the horrific events of Friday evening. The city of light was darkened, yet the rest of the world lit up for them, showing their support, and emphasising that these extremists will not win. Landmarks around the world displayed the French flag to show Paris that they are supported and will overcome this heartbreak.

YOU Magazine Work Experience

From the 1st-5th June, I had the incredible opportunity to do some work experience at YOU magazine. Even though I was excited for it, I was still quite sceptical. It was a make or break for me, if you like. I've wanted to go into fashion since I was around 15/16, I just had no idea how or what aspect of it. When I got the opportunity to do this, I would finally decide if this is what I wanted to do with my life, or I'd see I was wrong and that it wasn't actually for me.

I was expecting something like the Devil Wears Prada, I'm not going to lie. However, it was far from it. Everyone in the office was so welcoming and lovely, and I genuinely felt like I was in my element. 

During my week at YOU, I worked on five different desks: features, art, fashion, pictures and sub editors. Working on all the different desks gave me a real insight into how much research and work goes into putting the magazine together, and how all the desks are relevant for the final product.

I was told what each desk contributed to the magazine, and was allowed to help within the current tasks. When I worked on the fashion desk, I got to help with a fashion shoot, which resulted in my name being in the credits on the page!

I just feel work experience is so useful, as it allows you to experience first hand what it is like working in the industry, and it can give you a clearer mindset as to whether that really is the career path you want to pursue. Luckily for me, I was working with an office full of lovely, welcoming people at an extremely organised company.

Caitlin even came to visit one day, and came for lunch with her mum and I. That just made the whole week better, being able to see her and have a catch up on my lunch break.

This experience was so useful to me. I felt so in my element, and it really allowed me to gain a clearer understanding of the goals I am aiming for. I was slightly doubtful coming to university, wondering if I'd made the right choice. However, after my work experience, I am more determined than ever to reach my final goal. It has also showed me how much I'd love to live in London, and don't intend to move back to Essex. London is such an incredible city, and working there for that week really emphasised that to me.

Away With The Fairies

Sorry it's been so long since my last post - things have been a bit hectic! Life has literally consisted of university work and work work. I've not even been home a day, and I'm already back behind the bar!

Anyway, my first year of university is finally over! Last deadline has been submitted and my final exam has been sat. What an incredible year it's been. I've met some amazing friends, and made some unforgettable memories. It's been a roller-coaster of emotions, as its hard adjusting to moving away from home, and everything you know to a completely new place, literally on your own. Yes, certain times have been hard and lonely, but overall, its been an incredible experience. If somebody told me this time last year I'd be at university now, I wouldn't have believed them. It's really quite exhausting keeping up with how much life seems to be changing lately.

Anyway, summer is finally here - thank god! I'll hopefully be going on a couple of holidays that I've got lined up, as well as working full time. I'm not really sure how I'm going to fit in all the things I appear to have planned, but I'm sure I'll manage it somehow.

I've also got some exciting news. A good friend of mine that I met at university has given me the amazing opportunity to gain some work experience with her mum at YOU magazine. I'll be doing five days there at the beginning of June. Her mum is a Sub Editor, literally the job I want! So I am extremely happy to have this incredible opportunity, especially in my first year! To say I'm excited for the week is an understatement.

Thought I'd add a few photos of my first year at university. This is just an update considering I'm back in Essex now, and feel I've slightly neglected my blog. I'll try and keep it regularly updated, promise!

Paris Fashion Week: Valentino featuring Zoolander

Admittedly, it's been a while since my last post. However, uni is uni and things have been a bit hectic lately. I've been meaning to post for a while now, but just have not had the time at all.

Something I need to post about is the Fashion Week finale. Obviously, Paris Fashion Week did not disappoint.

The Valentino show closed the evening, a show in which all I can say I wish I'd had the opportunity to attend. The AW15 collection started off minimalistic, with a classic monochrome piece, and  little make up on the models. It then progressed to more colourful, textured pieces; leading up to the spectacular finish.

Two unexpected guests then took to the runway; Ben Stiller as Hansel and Owen Wilson as Derek Zoolander. The pair were wearing custom made Valentino two-pieces, with matching coats.

Ched Evans: Has He Served His Time?

I've been slightly reluctant to post my opinion with regards to the Ched Evans case. Maybe I'm a tad harsh on what I think, but its just something I feel strongly about.

Personally, I cannot comprehend how football clubs would even consider giving this 'man' a career. What he did to that 19-year-old girl is absolutely vile. It is purely his status that allowed him to be offered his job back. If he came out of prison a 'nobody' - not having his professional footballer career behind him - he would find it a lot harder to get a job. Evans was convicted of rape and sentenced for five years, and is now on the Violent and Sex Offender Register. If he did not have the status that he does, circumstances upon leaving prison would be entirely different.

My lecturer and I had a debate on this topic in my previous lesson; to which he told me that Evans had served his time, so why punish him more? I believe this is true, to an extent. Yes, he 'served his time' in prison, however, that young girl cannot so easily move on with her life. The girl claims she cannot remember the incident happening as she was too drunk. THIS IS NOT CONSENT. If somebody is too drunk, they are not in a right frame of time - which does not mean yes! Why is that so hard to understand? Somebody in that position is vulnerable, that does not give a person the right to take advantage of them.

We seem to live in a society that teaches girls and women how not to be raped, rather than teaching boys and men not to rape. There are so many different things women have to be aware of constantly, in order to prevent themselves from being raped; its almost like its becoming a part of every day life. This is absolutely appalling in my eyes.

WHY should women have to be so on edge constantly? Why can people not wear what they want to wear, without fear of being attacked? "She was asking for it for dressing promiscuously": NO, she was not. It does not matter if a woman walks around naked; she is still not asking to be raped. A woman should be entitled to wear whatever the hell it is she wants, without fear of being raped.

When I moved to university, it was drilled into us 'don't walk through the parks on your own at night', as the parks in the surrounding area are referred to as 'rape park'. We are constantly told not to walk anywhere on our own, as it 'isn't safe'. WHY is it not safe, and WHY is this issue not addressed? By warning people of it, it is merely displacing the issue; it is not attempting to resolve it. Why is more not being done to prevent rape happening?

I applaud Jessica Ennis. When she found out that Evans might have been signed by Sheffield United following his release, she demanded she wanted her name removed from the stand that was named after her. She claimed signing him would "contradict her beliefs". Sponsors for the club also pulled out following this news; ensuring they would have nothing to do with a club that supported a man of such a crime. Surely, this in itself, says something?

I am twenty years old, and have witnessed first hand what rape does to a person, and the true repercussions its has. I would not wish that on anybody. To watch somebody become a shell of their former self is absolutely heartbreaking. Rape destroys a person. It is not something to joke about. It is not something that should still be discussed in today's society. Rape IS a disgusting crime.

He may have served his time, but to society, he is a long way from redemption.

The Realisation of University

University doesn't seem to be what you think it will. You have all these ideas in your head of what it will be like, what the people will be like, what your course will be like, and so on; however, things don't seem to match up to your expectations.

The people you live with in halls seem to have the 'every man for themselves' mindset. You may think you're the closest of friends with them, but when it comes down to it, you find out the hard way that you're not. University can be a very lonely place at times. You're away from home, away from everything and everyone you know, and it can make you feel so alone, regardless of the amount of people around you. Phone calls home help slightly, but as soon as you're off the phone the loneliness kicks in as you're just sat in your room wondering how to fill your time.  You sometimes find yourself just counting down the days until you're back there again, or making drunken 4am calls to your sister telling her how much you miss her, and how alone you really are.

Money does disappear! It goes quicker than you think it will, trust me. Do not go out and get drunk every night, because you'll get two weeks down the line and realise you have no money, and no food in the freezer and you'll be stuck on what to do. The bank of Mum and Dad doesn't have unlimited funds; its time to start learning to budget and sorting yourself out money wise. Be careful with it! Or get a job, but find one that's happy with you going home during holidays - which is much easier said than done.

Stay on top of your work. Do not leave that big project until two days before its due and hand in a rushed piece of work - you WILL regret it, I can assure you of that. Everyone says first year doesn't count, which is true to an extent, but it does help you get into second year, and if you fail units in your first, it could affect your overall grade. The moral of the story is: first year is not as much of a doss as everybody makes out.

University is the time for you to be selfish. You need to think about what is best for you. Not enjoying your course, thinking its not for you? Just drop out! Do not even bother wasting your time. Don't consider how your parents will react, there is no point in staying if you don't like it, because you won't focus and you'll get bad grades, which will look even worse. They will understand, just talk to them! Just think of yourself while you're here. Make sure you just do what you want to do, and forget everyone else's opinions. It's all you can do. You need to make sure you're happy, and living life how you want to; not how your parents want you to.

You WILL lose friends when you move to university. Its sad, but its true. Those friends from home you thought would always be there? They won't be. You'll get a text every couple of months asking how things are going, but when you're struggling on your own, you won't hear from them. But that's just life. Things don't go as planned, and as you grow older, friends leave, but that's okay. You will be okay, and you'll get new friends. Don't waste time on people that clearly don't care about you, you'll only hurt yourself more trying to hold onto something that isn't there any more.

Family are everything, just remember that. They are the ones that will be there when nobody else is, even if you don't think they will be. That drunken phone call to your sister? That shows she cares, believe me. Don't push them away because you're in a bad mood, it will only make things worse in the long run. As lonely as you feel, taking it out on them will not resolve the situation. University has made me a lot closer to my sister, and I tend to spend a good hour and a half on the phone to her just ranting about life. Whether she wants to listen or not, she does. She seems to just put things into perspective sometimes. She's the one that tells me when I'm being over dramatic and to man up a bit, or she'll just let me cry down the phone until I feel better.

It's time to start sorting your life out a bit. Get your head down, and get on with things. You've clearly gone to university for a reason, so make sure you come out with something to be proud of. Don't spend 90% of your time drunk, you're bound to look back in a few years and regret it.

At the end of the day, just have fun. Don't think about things too much, just enjoy it.